Hey mommas. It’s summer, but you know that. There’s more time to sip coffee in the mornings, more time to clean out closets and playrooms, more time with our sweet (and sometimes infuriating) kiddos. More time to get in our heads, obsess over our weight, and dread going to the pool.

I said I was going to do it this year. Maybe you did, too. I was going to start early, in January, and work hard to shed those pesky 10, 15, 20 pounds that have somehow taken over my hips, thighs, waist, consciousness. But life happened. I got comfortable in my sweaters. I got busy with too many room mom responsibilities. I convinced myself, again, that one more cupcake and cocktail at the holiday party wouldn’t be a big deal. So here I am, again, with no summer bod in sight.

But instead of hiding in the shade this summer, rocking my knee-length cover-up, swim shorts, and rash guard, I’m determined to blaze a new path, one I’ve never blazed as a mother, jiggly thighs and all. I’m going to shed the layers along with the humiliation. I’m going to raise my head high enough to notice that most mom’s bodies aren’t as perfect as I thought when I only caught glimpses of them through lowered eyes. And I’m going to finally realize that those moms are probably feeling just as uncomfortable and awkward as I am. Together, we can find common ground that doesn’t revolve around the scale, our workout schedule, our WeightWatchers points, our excuses for why we still haven’t lost the baby weight. 

Instead, let’s focus on sharing best practices for guiding our bed wetters, our picky eaters, our “overzealous” ones. After that, maybe we can focus on ourselves as women, not only mothers- Where do you get your hair done? It’s so pretty on you! Did you hear about that big sale at Nordstrom/Target/Old Navy? I saw several things that would look so good on you. What are your plans this summer? Do you want to come over for coffee sometime soon so we can chat without the distraction of potential drownings? 

My kids are getting older, but for now they still want me to play with them, splash with them, go down the waterslide with them. How many more summers do I have where they will want me? Not enough. So this summer, I’m stripping down- shedding my cover-ups and insecurities to splash with them. I’m raising my eyes and lowering my defenses to really listen to the new mom who is struggling, to feel the freedom to laugh with the old friend about something ridiculous on The Bachelor. I’m putting myself out there, flaws and all, to make new friends and cultivate existing relationships.

This is the time, mommas, whether you think your body is summer ready or not. It doesn’t matter. Let’s choose to enjoy ourselves, our children, and our friends, instead of hiding in the shadows. Then we can start the cycle over again in January with renewed spirit and resolve.   

As seen on The TODAY Show, TODAY Parents, and For Every Mom.